INDEPENDENT

i feel that its time for me to be independent with him during sem breaks.. because for the past sem breaks, i was hoping that days could past faster and please let me see him as soon as possible.. during sem break, i have this weird feelings when what i do.. even if i eat or watching tv.. feels so lonely and boring... and sometimes i lost my appetite which it does not happen to me frequently.. and now.. mid term break for a just a week.. and im hoping that i can see him sooner.. and what he could give me is "那你要我怎样？“ seriously.. i dont know how to answer his question.. and i hate him by always asking me this question.. why everytime when we argue. its my fault? and im the one who always start up the fight..
i need to be independent.. not to rely 100% on him anymore.